Early Online Writers Who Shaped Me
Celebrating my favorite niche independent entertainment sites, bloggers, recappers, and column writers from the 2000s and early 2010s.
One great thing about Substack is how easy it is to find writers I enjoy. To celebrate this ease of connection, today I want to highlight examples of my favorite niche web writing from the early 2000s to 2010s.
These voices were among the first I encountered online. These publications, columns, or recappers had a large impact on my writing style and sense of humor. They helped create a foundation from which I express myself today in this very blog.
I didn't get online until middle school. Back then, I had the interests and tastes of a middle schooler. I have no memory how I found the sites or writers. Frankly, I’m surprised the older sites are still kicking. If they are ever taken down, I’ll be sad, but at least I’ll have written about them today.
As I reflect on today’s featured writers/publications, I realize I know little about the larger sites they wrote for, or featured on. That’s sort of how the internet worked back then. Yes, we had forums and messageboards, but we didn’t have the homogeny of Reddit or curated feeds.
Say —When did you come online? What’s the earliest web writing you remember? What online communities did you first gravitate toward?
Thanks for reading.
1: World’s Finest Teen Titans — Bird Boy, Steel, Others — https://dcanimated.com/WF/teentitans/reviews/
We'll start in chronological order: Worlds Finest Teen Titans
Cartoon Network’s animated show Teen Titans ran from around 2003 to 2006, righ when I was in middle school. I was OBSESSED with Teen Titans. It was bad. I don’t know what more to say, really.
While the show aired, I somehow discovered World’s Finest Teen Titans.
I say “somehow” because this was so early in my internet life, I was still literally learning how to navigate websites. World’s Finest Teen Titans is still up, mostly intact. Most of my time was spent on this Reviews page.
A review generally consisted of:
The official episode name and description
The season/episode number
Key credits
A photo media gallery
Selected audio clips from the episode
A few hundred words recapping the episode
Elsewhere, I’ve written about the joys of communally digesting marquis TV (Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad). Back in the mid-2000s, I had no such crowd to hoot and holler in. Middle school IP obsession isn’t easy. In a way, I was lucky to not have others around me as devoted to the show.
These days, you can easily go online and find throngs of supporters for your favorite media, character, you-name-it. Back then, I just remember reading these reviews and thinking — wow, there are other people who know this show exists.
So, thanks Bird Boy and team. Wherever you are out there.
PS, how many printer ink cartridges did I destroy printing off images of Raven from these recaps? I filled a binder and carried it around at school and to show my friends. Let us free ourselves from the shackles of the past and move on.
2: "I, Spy" The Original Spy - blogspot Numb3rs recaps - https://theoriginalspy.blogspot.com/
If Teen Titans was my middle school obsession, my high school years were marked by Numb3rs (CBS, 2006-2011): The Original Spy - Percolated Reviews
If you ask me my favorite TV shows, the list is pretty short. Numb3rs is one of the chief shows that got me interested in film, television, and wanting to write for entertainment.
Crime procedurals were always on in my home. I liked them too, but only when they had a “twist” or other element to deviate it from the norm.
Numb3rs was unique for a few reasons. First, the hook: FBI agent recruits genius mathmetician/college professor brother to help solve crimes. Second, the show was driven mostly by the familial bond between these brothers. Third, it incorporated “nerd/science/math” elements into its storytelling and crime solving.
It’s hard to understate how large of an impact this world, its characters, and story had on me. The show’s strength was how it blended its two worlds — the academic absurdities and intricacies of fictionalized Caltech, and LA’s criminal underbelly.
I have no clue how I found this site. “Spy”, as she went by, recapped everything under the monicker “Percolated Recaps.” Where the Worlds Finest Teen Titans reviewers were fairly neutral in their recaps, Spy had a perspective and strong voice. Reading her recaps felt like I had permission to geek out. Spy was warm, energetic, expressive. She introduced me to the concept of “shipping.”
I was able to read Spy’s blog throughout Numb3rs’ run, all the way through to the series completion. Not sure what Spy is up to these days, but if she’s still writing, I’m thankful for her voice even if I think she was wrong about Colby all along.
I’ll write more about this show in the future.
3: I-Mockery - Tales From The Longbox - "All Suck Batman and Robin" - http://www.i-mockery.com/comics/longbox7/ & [part 2]
Here we are in 2006 — Tales From the Longbox (All Star Batman and Robin).
Please listen to me and read this one. Protoclown’s review of this batshit Batman run is so, so entertaining. Protoclown recounts each mounting absurdity, logical fallacy, baffling piece of story, insane leap of logic with rattling energy. Phrases they use still stick in my head to this day.
There’s no way I can introduce All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder better than Protoclown does in this blog, but essentially an anticipated comic was released with big-time names associated to it and it was a total train wreck. It was so bad people thought it was a mistake, or a prank. It kept releasing, and getting worse.
I came to this blog without any understanding of Frank Miller, Batman comics in general. In present day I still can’t believe they published this.
Wanna know the best part? I eventually got the comic run from the library. It’s somehow MORE insane than described. I’m not kidding. There’s MORE insane stuff I am surprised Protoclown did not mention.
If you read this blog series, then end up reading the series (or vice-versa) I would love to hear from you. I still can’t believe it’s real.
4: Progressive Boink - The Top 40 Worst Rob Liefeld Drawings - Bill Hanstock - https://www.progressiveboink.com/2012/4/21/2960508/worst-rob-liefeld-drawings
We now finally enter territory (2010s) where there’s a chance you read this one: Progressive Boink, The Top 40 Worst Rob Liefeld Drawings.
Like the I-Mockery work, I recommend you read this one if you haven’t heard of it.
Bill Hanstock thoroughly dissect the art, life, and existence of a Rob Liefeld, a man who .. [genuine questioning tone] creates art? Rob Liefeld, ostensibly, has created comics for 30 years, a career for which he is paid, yet this is what he thinks a woman looks like:
There is not much more I can say to dunk on this art, that the blog does not thoroughly cover with more grace and wit than I could ever muster.
Not knowing who Rob Liefeld was before encountering this four-part series enriched my experience. This comic series disavowed my naieve notion that you need to understand human anatomy or Earth physics to be a successful comic book artist and creator.
Phrases from the blog still stick in my head today, including such gems as:
“He is a pair of jeans with a face [Rob Liefeld]”
“Jesus Christ, Liefeld drew a dog’s hindquarters on him. Just straight-up a dog’s ass and legs.”
The best part? Because Rob Liefeld drew or created so many Marvel characters, as the MCU has become more prevalent, I’ve realized my first exposure to Domino, Cable, and others were from this dissection of art crimes.
Conclusion & Honorable Mentions
If the internet died, I would be sad to lose those four sources of past entertainment. Thanks for learning about them with me.
Here are some honorable mentions:
Sal’s Realm of RuneScape — A forum, review, and guide site for RuneSacpe. Not super active any more, but the clan is still active as far as I know. I joined a long time ago, and found a strong community of RS players. I have even met up with some of the members over my years of playing (Although, does one ever really quit an MMO?)
Hyperbole & A Half, XKCD, Critical Miss, Zero Punctiaton, MacHall — OK. This may be cheating, but webcomic or web video writing is writing, no?
Jesusfreakhideout.com — Yes, I read a lot of their album reviews.
Thanks for going back down memory lane with me. I would still love to hear any of your favorites!
Darlene
OMG another I-Mockery enthusiast :D It was a pivotal site for me as a teen as well, and yet I somehow have never read the Batman comic mockery. Goes to show just how much good content they had!!